If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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