i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
