Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
