I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
