hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
