i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Randomize
