She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
