eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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