wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
