I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Randomize
