jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize