covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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