I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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