I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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