If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Small penises have feelings too.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
