I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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