its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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