once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
