There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
