So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize