She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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