Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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