What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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