I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
