i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
