sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize