Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
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