You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Just cropdusted the office
there was a trapeze. enough said
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
