Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
