i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
