i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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