im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
