we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize