Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
