When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
