hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize