I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
