If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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