I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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