You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
