I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
