im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
