Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
