Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
