I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
