I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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