Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
