so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Two words: nipple clamps
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