can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
