Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
