Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
