I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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