We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have fence marks all over my body
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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