If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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