no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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