i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
