Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Randomize
